Residents in Newtown, Conn., drive cars adorned with green ribbon bumper stickers: “In Our Hearts. Sandy Hook Elementary School. 12.14.12.” Posters in shop windows encourage people to donate to the We Are Newtown Memorial Scholarship, and to “Spread love to all.” Stores sell Christmas tree ornaments, lanyards, and pins that support community funds and individual families affected by the tragedy. There’s a constant effort, it seems, to assert some control over an inconceivable event.

Last year’s shooting claimed the lives of 20 students, six educators, the gunman, and his mother, forcing the New England town into the national and global spotlight. Some residents say they hate to tell strangers where they’re from because people react with horror and pity–or ghoulish curiosity. Many find it frustrating to have their town, and themselves, defined by that day.